Little misunderstandings lead to big consequences

This week in my Family Relations class, we had some really interesting discussions about Family Systems.  Of particular interest to me was the Symbolic Interaction Theory.  While I am generally a pretty good communicator (my kids would say, blunt and probably  a little bit too honest )  I was able to see that I am not so good at reading cues from those who are not very good at verbally communicating.  While my professor was telling us a story about an interaction he had with his wife where he thought she was rolling her eyes at him, I had an epiphany about my sweet husband.  It brought tears to my eyes because I no longer have the opportunity to hug him and tell him how much I love him as he passed away 5 months ago this week.  As I thought about some of the things that annoyed me, I realized they were actually his way of trying to be the husband he thought he needed to be I was just misinterpreting the cues he was sending.  How often do we assign meaning from our lives to the things someone else is doing and completely get it wrong?  When someone is quiet, do we jump to the conclusion that they are annoyed or angry with us? Then, because we think they are angry or annoyed, we get angry or annoyed or hurt or any range of emotions.  Maybe they are just being quiet because they are deep in thought about something totally unrelated to us.  Maybe they had a really bad day and just need to decompress.  Our misunderstanding those cues can lead to serious damage to relationships.  I am going to watch a little more carefully when I "judge" someones actions this week, either I will ask what they were meaning or try not to make assumptions.  Hopefully I will think a little better of the motives of the people around me.

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